今天GJXX小編搜羅了上海美達(dá)菲學(xué)校家長課堂：比智商和情商更重要的品質(zhì)Grit希望給擇校的家長們提供參考。

THE MACDUFFIE SCHOOL  

EXCELLENCE IN EDUCATION SINCE 1890

什么是教育中最重要的部分？怎么培養(yǎng)，才能幫孩子取得成功？

What is the most important part in education? How do you raise them to help them succeed?.

正向心理學(xué)  

Positive Psychology

過去，人們將注意力主要放在智力開發(fā)上，認(rèn)為掌握知識(shí)的多寡，直接決定了孩子的學(xué)業(yè)、事業(yè)表現(xiàn)及其能否在未來的社會(huì)競爭中取得勝利。

In the past, people focused their attention on intellectual development, believing that the mastery of knowledge directly determines a child's academic performance, career performance and whether he or she can win in the future social competition.

由美國心理學(xué)家Daniel Goldman完善的情商概念則指出，孩子未來的學(xué)業(yè)表現(xiàn)、事業(yè)成就、生活的幸福程度，只有不足20%取決于智商，其余絕大部分是由情商決定的。

The concept of emotional intelligence, developed by American psychologist Daniel Goldman, points out that IQ accounts for less than 20% of a child's future academic performance, career success and life happiness, while EQ accounts for most of the rest.

正向心理學(xué)（Positive Psychology）則提出了七項(xiàng)指標(biāo)，認(rèn)為它們是預(yù)示孩子未來成功的“七大秘密武器”。這七項(xiàng)指標(biāo)分別是：Grit堅(jiān)毅、Zest激情、Self-control自制力、Optimism樂觀態(tài)度、Gratitude感恩精神、Social intelligence社交智力、Curiosity 好奇心。

Positive Psychology has come up with seven indicators that it considers to be the 'seven secret weapons' of future success. The seven indicators are: Grit, Zest passion, self-control, Optimism, Gratitude, Social intelligence, and Curiosity.

情商，只是社交智力的一部分，而智商，壓根被排除在了這“七大秘密武器”之外。以正向心理學(xué)為基礎(chǔ)的性格教育不相信“智商決定論”及“人的命天注定”的遺傳出身論，認(rèn)為孩子是后天教育可塑的。家長、教師等如能給孩子做出表率和示范，則孩子完全可以被培養(yǎng)成在未來成功的人。

Emotional intelligence is just one component of social intelligence, while IQ is not one of the seven secret weapons. Character education based on positive psychology does not believe in the theory of "intelligence quotient determinism" and "human destiny is predestined", and believes that children are malleable after education. If parents, teachers and others can set an example for children, children can be trained to be successful in the future.

不可忽略的性格教育  

Character education that cannot be ignored

Grit可譯為“堅(jiān)毅”，但其涵義遠(yuǎn)比毅力、勤勉、堅(jiān)強(qiáng)都要豐富得多。如果你見一個(gè)孩子“能很投入地一直做一件事很久”，這就是Grit。向著長期的目標(biāo)，堅(jiān)持自己的激情，即便歷經(jīng)失敗，依然能夠堅(jiān)持不懈地努力下去，這種品質(zhì)就叫做堅(jiān)毅，Grit堅(jiān)毅是每個(gè)人都可以開發(fā)的。父母和學(xué)校還是有很多空間，可以幫助孩子塑造堅(jiān)毅的品格，這將有助于他將來在任何領(lǐng)域獲得成功。

Grit can be translated as "perseverance", but its meaning is much richer than perseverance, diligence and toughness. If you see a child who "can do one thing for a long time with dedication", it is Grit. Towards long-term goals, adhere to their passion, even after failure, can still keep on working hard, this quality is called Grit, and everyone can develop it. There is still plenty of room for parents and schools to help build the strength of character that will help a child succeed in any field.

Grit教育警示我們：決定孩子成功的最重要因素，不在于我們給孩子灌輸了多少知識(shí)，而在于我們是否幫助孩子獲得了以Grit為首的七項(xiàng)重要的性格特質(zhì)。

Grit education warns us that the most important factor in determining a child's success is not how much knowledge we imbue to the child, but whether we help the child acquire the seven important character traits headed by Grit. 

塑造孩子的成長型思維模式  

Key：Shaping children's growth mode of thinking

“成長型心智模式”認(rèn)為人的智力、能力和性格是可以改變，這樣的人持有“能力增長觀”，他們認(rèn)為自己的能力是可以漸進(jìn)的，他們所關(guān)心的是進(jìn)步，關(guān)注的是自己的發(fā)展。他們做事的特點(diǎn)是不易放棄，更能從過程中享受到樂趣，更容易尋求幫助，復(fù)原力更強(qiáng)，越是感到糟糕時(shí)，越能加速行動(dòng)，去做更多的事情。

The "growth mental model" holds that a person's intelligence, ability and personality can be changed. Such people hold the "ability growth view". They believe that their ability can be gradual, and they care about progress and their own development. They are less likely to quit, more likely to enjoy the process, more likely to ask for help, more resilient, and more likely to speed up and get more done when they feel depressed.

“僵固型心智模式”則認(rèn)為人的智力、能力和性格不可改變，這樣的人有“能力實(shí)體論”。他們更在乎自己看起來怎樣，是否顯得聰明，能向外界證明自己到底擁有了多少，相比進(jìn)步，他們更在乎的是外界的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，以及如何證明自己。持這種想法的人，往往會(huì)避免挑戰(zhàn)和冒險(xiǎn)，免得顯得自己不聰明，他們不肯付出太多努力，因?yàn)槟菢诱f明自己很笨，他們急于為錯(cuò)誤辯解找借口，不愿意尋求幫助，因?yàn)槟菢右馕吨约耗芰Σ蛔?。?duì)待挫敗，很容易放棄，因?yàn)樗麄冋J(rèn)為自己的能力是固定有限的，所以不必努力。

The "rigid mental model" holds that a person's intelligence, abilities, and personality are unchangeable, and that such a person has a "competent entity theory." They care more about how they look, whether they look smart, how much they can prove to the outside world, than progress, and how they can prove themselves. People who hold this view tend to avoid challenges and risks so as not to appear smart. They are reluctant to put in too much effort because that would indicate stupidity. They are too eager to make excuses for mistakes and unwilling to ask for help because that would imply inadequacy. They tend to give up on frustration because they think their abilities are fixed and limited, so they don't have to work hard.

比如一場考試，成長型心智模式的學(xué)生會(huì)比較在意自己是否學(xué)到了知識(shí)，對(duì)于錯(cuò)誤他們?cè)敢庵匦聡L試，直到得出正確答案為止；而僵固型心智模式的學(xué)生，他們則比較在意自己的分?jǐn)?shù)，如果分?jǐn)?shù)不是很滿意，他們會(huì)向后看還有多少人不如自己。

In a test, for example, students with a growth mental model are more concerned about whether they have learned something and are willing to try again for mistakes until they get the right answer. Students with rigid mental models, on the other hand, are more concerned with their own scores, and if they are not satisfied with their scores, they will look back to see how many others are worse than them.

培養(yǎng)Grit，父母該做什么？  

What should parents do?

01  把挑戰(zhàn)擺在孩子的面前

Present challenges in front of your children

真正的成功往往發(fā)生在人們突破邊界和障礙的時(shí)候。如果你的孩子一直沒有機(jī)會(huì)戰(zhàn)勝一些困難，他可能永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)具備面對(duì)挑戰(zhàn)的自信。體驗(yàn)冒險(xiǎn)和障礙是孩子學(xué)習(xí)的一個(gè)重要途徑。讓孩子有機(jī)會(huì)去追求至少一個(gè)很難的事情。最好是一件有嚴(yán)格紀(jì)律和規(guī)則，需要長期練習(xí)的事。比如鋼琴、舞蹈。做得怎樣并不重要，盡可能去努力才是重點(diǎn)。在這個(gè)過程中，孩子也許會(huì)很焦慮，但是當(dāng)他克服障礙時(shí)，他就會(huì)真正愛上這件事，并且找到發(fā)自內(nèi)心的堅(jiān)持下去的動(dòng)力和自信。

True success often occurs when people break through boundaries and barriers. If your child has never had a chance to overcome something difficult, he may never have the confidence to face a challenge. Experiencing adventures and obstacles is an important way for children to learn. Give your child the opportunity to pursue at least one difficult task. It is best to do something with strict discipline and rules that requires a long period of practice, like piano and dancing. It doesn't matter how well you do it, just try as hard as you can. In this process, the child may be anxious, but when he overcomes the obstacle, he will truly love it and find the motivation and confidence to carry on from the heart.

02  告訴孩子，你不需要每次都很完美

Teach your child that you don't have to be perfect every time

當(dāng)孩子遇到困難時(shí)，我們應(yīng)該告訴他，努力就好，不需要每次都做到完美，重要的是過程的收獲和體驗(yàn)。成長型思維的孩子不是跑得多快，而是摔倒之后站起來繼續(xù)跑，哪怕是最后一名。

When children encounter difficulties, we should tell them that it is good to work hard, it is not necessary to be perfect every time, what is important is the harvest and experience of the process. Growth-minded kids don't run fast, they fall down and get up and keep running, even if they finish at last.

03  不要在感覺糟糕的時(shí)刻結(jié)束

Don't end on a frustrating moment

不要給孩子灌輸擅長什么、不擅長什么皆因天賦所賜，那樣可能會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子輕易放棄的習(xí)慣。天才也需要不懈的努力。在遇到挫折的時(shí)候要求孩子不要立即放棄，要求他們沒一件事情都要堅(jiān)持到底，這樣的鍛煉會(huì)讓他們認(rèn)識(shí)到，學(xué)習(xí)過程中需要克服一些不適和障礙，這是自然的事情。

Don't give your child the idea that he is gifted at what he is good at and what he is bad at. That may lead him to give up easily. Genius also needs tireless efforts. The exercise of asking children not to give up immediately when faced with setbacks and to stick to everything will teach them that it is natural to overcome some discomfort and obstacles in the learning process.

04  給予孩子適時(shí)必需的推動(dòng)

Give your child the push they need

沒有哪一個(gè)孩子會(huì)自動(dòng)“上鏈”，也沒有哪一個(gè)孩子會(huì)毫無惰性，需要給予孩子適時(shí)必需的推動(dòng)，比如幫助他們制定學(xué)習(xí)計(jì)劃、設(shè)立目標(biāo)、鼓勵(lì)堅(jiān)持、陪同練習(xí)等等。孩子初期可能會(huì)抱怨，但在家長的堅(jiān)定下，他們會(huì)慢慢體會(huì)到樂趣，抱怨會(huì)日益減少，積極的體驗(yàn)會(huì)日益增多。

No child is automatically "on the chain", and no child is inert. They need to be given the necessary push at the right time, such as helping them make learning plans, setting goals, encouraging persistence, accompanying practice, and so on. Children may complain early on, but with parents' determination, they will gradually experience fun, less complaining and more positive experiences.

05 引導(dǎo)孩子正確看待和處理失敗和沮喪

Guide your child to deal with failure and frustration

成功是一段相當(dāng)漫長的旅行，而且布滿艱辛險(xiǎn)阻，失敗、困惑、沮喪都是旅程的一部分。如果孩子明白這點(diǎn)，首先不會(huì)將失敗的原因歸因?yàn)樽约旱哪芰栴}，自我認(rèn)同感不降低，就更會(huì)有毅力堅(jiān)持下去。在孩子遇到困難的時(shí)候，啟發(fā)他們自己思考解決，而不是直接告訴他怎么辦。

Success is a long journey, and there are many difficulties. Failure, confusion and frustration are all part of the journey. If children understand this, first of all, they will not ascribe the cause of failure to their own ability problems, self-identity is not reduced, more will have perseverance. When your child has a problem, encourage him to figure it out for himself instead of telling him what to do.

06  側(cè)重贊美孩子的努力、策略和選擇

Focus on praising your child's efforts, strategies and choices

我們?cè)诳洫?jiǎng)孩子的時(shí)候，盡量避免夸獎(jiǎng)他們的聰明和天賦?？浜⒆优τ霉?，會(huì)給孩子一個(gè)可以自我掌控的感覺，孩子會(huì)認(rèn)為成功與否掌握在自己手中；而被夸聰明的孩子，會(huì)感到自己取得的成績是天生的，是恒定因素決定的，不在自己掌控之中。有實(shí)驗(yàn)表明，被夸努力的孩子，90%會(huì)選擇難度較大的任務(wù)完成，而被夸聰明的孩子，大部分會(huì)選擇較為簡單的任務(wù)，他們?yōu)榱吮３挚雌饋怼奥斆鳌?，不?huì)選擇冒險(xiǎn)和出丑。

When we praise our children, we try to avoid praising their intelligence and talent. Praising your child for his hard work gives him a sense of control and a sense that success is in his own hands. Children who are praised for their intelligence feel that their achievements are innate, fixed and out of their control. Experiments have shown that 90 percent of children praised for their efforts chose difficult tasks to complete, while children praised for their intelligence mostly chose easier tasks, avoiding risks and making fools of themselves in order to remain "smart".

07  和孩子分享自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)教訓(xùn)

Share what you've learned

己所不欲勿施于人，讓自己成為成長型思維的父母，才更能感染孩子。多和孩子講一講自己失敗的經(jīng)歷，談?wù)勛约好鎸?duì)失敗時(shí)的想法和選擇，怎么從失敗中站起來繼續(xù)前行，這是孩子所能學(xué)到的最好的能力。

Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you. Let yourself become a growth-thinking parent, so that children can be more infected. Talk to your child about your failure experience, talk about your thoughts and choices in the face of failure, how to stand up from failure and move on, this is the best ability for your child to learn.

THE MACDUFFIE SCHOOL  

EXCELLENCE IN EDUCATION SINCE 1890

上海美達(dá)菲學(xué)校全方位關(guān)注學(xué)生成長問題，聚焦家長需求?！凹彝ソ逃?、學(xué)校教育、社會(huì)教育”三位一體，構(gòu)成了孩子成長過程中的教育之路，這其中，家庭教育與學(xué)校教育的聯(lián)合會(huì)產(chǎn)生“1+1>2”的效果。

Shanghai MacDuffie School focuses on the growth of students and the needs of parents. The trinity of "family education, school education and social education" constitutes the way of education in the growth of children. Among them, the union of family education and school education produces the effect of "1+1>2".

上海美達(dá)菲希望在每段家校合作的關(guān)系里，都能把最好的成長帶給孩子。家校相互鼓舞著前進(jìn)，相互簇?fù)碇砷L，也互相溫暖著前行。希望通過一次次家校溝通，形成教育合力，高質(zhì)量地達(dá)成我們的共同目標(biāo)和教育愿景，協(xié)同助力孩子們的美好明天，最終抵達(dá)共贏的彼岸。

Shanghai MacDuffie hopes to bring the best growth to children in every home-school cooperative relationship. Home and school encourage each other to move forward, grow together and warm each other. We hope that through communication between home and school, we can form joint educational force, achieve our common goals and educational vision with high quality, help children to have a better tomorrow, and finally reach the other side of win-win.

THE MACDUFFIE SCHOOL  

EXCELLENCE IN EDUCATION SINCE 1890

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